I had an interesting and monumental October. There was the crummy Oktoberfest and probably the pre-advertised overrated Pygmalion musical. There was also a recent marking on the new phase of my life, after much heavy conversations, heated discussions betweeen a father and son, the child is now walking new steps, in His steps.
In October, Footstool Players had just ended its season finale in Ipoh, which was a breathtaking moment for me. I managed to survived and walk this journey, enjoying the ride and when you least expect it, surprises do spring up that really stretches you as a person. I am thankful for the experience, to know and meet new people that will journey with me in the Christian faith. To know God and to have a closer and personal relationship with Him, to know for sure, that He is there. I am truly blessed by this ministry, in spite of the work that has been invested, I managed to grasp new insights of what it means to be a Christian, to have friends who can identify with you. Coming from a non-christian home, its difficult to get that shade of fellowship daily, that is why I appreciate the friendships I have built with the players. My heart was touched by their support, their kind advice and being the listeners they are, even with time constraints.
I think God put us together for a reason, a reason that He has planned long before I thought anything about it. He is like my agenda planner. Working things out for us, knowing that He is in control. And it has been the case for me.
Nearing the end of the production, it was time for me to look for a job. To keep things in context, I have decided to move out of the family business and venture out on my own. Circumstances have certained the person in me that I need some years out on my own before I ever get back into the business. If I may say it bluntly now, it has been a bitchy season and exhausting to be wasting time with the people I had to engage with. No matter whatever I tried, everything was swept under the carpet and I was hurt from it. I do not intend to spend the next 25 years of my life doing so and having to bring the same worries to my own family in the future. Just not worth it.
Melbourne University also held their recent alumni function which I had attended, just to get some networking done and see what was installed. I managed to sweep up some contacts and materials to get me started. Somehow, looking for a job, a corporate job has never been my first priority. So I don't mind the wait. I had to work it out with my dad first that he was fine with me leaving that I may gain experience outside and also dabble myself in the arts.
Yes, I am going into the arts. Marketing myself in time to come to see where it leads me. I need to try this out to know for myself, before I relent and head home. I am young and adventurous. I am also taking into consideration to improve my skill set in that area, picking up books and talking to others, going for auditions and basically just enjoy the ride and see where it leads me, to expect the unexpected.
I asked myself this question. What is my motivation for being in the arts or the entertainment industry. I was wondering, if it was money and fame. I realized if money was the determining factor, then I may have resoluted to be with the family business because that is where the money is, I'll be dealing with a much bigger sum of money daily, working out deals and what nots. The fame will naturally come as I become the shadow of my dad, and having aunties introducing their daughters putting me up as a 'selective' catch. Blah! I feel insulted at times, take me for who I am and not what my father is and what he has and what he can do. I am not a trophy for parade! And these people just think, we have it all and rest assured, once you lock yourself in, you're set!
I do have a passion for the arts. I am willing to expose myself to learning, from being a production crew, getting my hands dirty, doing short films where renumeration is minimal or any shooting for volunteer work, because I want to earn my stripes, clean the toilets in the industry that people will associate me as SW and not a shadow of someone else.
So here I am taking the plunge itself. I do also want to keep myself rooted in the word of God. Because all that I am, all that I have, He has blessed me with. He has the right to take away any talents and gifts if He ever wants to. I want to honour Him with what I have, and be that beacon, that salt and light and earth in the community. Never again would I want to flirt with the devil, because it can destroy you and to those around you. I think this year, God has renewed and given me a heart for people, to realize that many are unwell. Many are spiritually sick and they do not know what to do with themselves and therefore indulge in short term gains. Its saddens me, especially when I know of some friends.
Speaking of which, in my mind, there are a couple of friends I have been meaning to wanna write to and catch up with them. Maybe its time to catch them on that journey and see how they are keeping up. So check your mailbox soon and think of a good place to makan ya!
Can you see that I'm practicing hard at the piano :p
hmm, i know what you mean, i recently experienced a deeper understanding that I have to stop conforming to the world and to do things outside of the box and not conform to people/world's expectations. Hold on to what you know is truest.
DTB